MRIRUNS: Sherry Hill Farm

🚨 Spoiler alert 🚨 this is a bit of a dear diary post that will find its way to the blog I haven’t written in for months. I seem to like to reflect and write and I know my blog is a better audience for this outlet than Facebook. 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I don’t really care so here it is.

Here’s a little video memo to myself. I’m focused and moving forward. It’s finally making sense and things are standing out to me now whereas initially I felt overwhelmed (I simply wasn’t ready). So I didn’t get everything done when I started, but this isn’t something I want to rush anyway. It’s actually a process that you can’t rush and to rush is to do yourself a disservice. Truly.

I won’t beat myself up about that. Although I thought I was ready when I started this project, it’s taken me a bit longer to get into the right mindset. I’ve listened to both audiobooks a few times. I am ready now. There is no rush. The timeline for completely decluttering my life the way I want, and am going to, is 6 months. So I will allow myself the time I need to putter away and work on it until I am done. Too often my “timelines” for completion are wildly unrealistic which often leave me feeling like a failure when I can’t achieve perfection quickly. (Who would have thought? 🤔). But I will be kind to myself. I am trying my best and that’s really all I can expect of anyone, especially myself.

I’ve accumulated so many material possessions over the years. Especially when I was in an emotionally raw place and was hurting I tried to make myself feel better by buying things. It sort of helped. It provided the distraction I so badly needed. Hindsight is 20/20 right?

At one point, I was in the middle of a bachelor of science in nursing. I worked straight nights as an LPN and was in school full time during the day. I so badly wanted aspects of my life to change and to be free from certain things. But all the stuff I accumulated just caused me more stress, definitely as the years went by. It only made me feel better initially. (Typical numbing and desensitization – see Brené Brown’s TED talk ‘the power of vulnerability’).

Hauling these things around as I moved from apartment, to basement suite, to apartment, to condo was like clinging to my past in some way. (My poor father and brother and sister in law who all helped me move. And my dear friend Frudd, he’s such a kind soul). I’ve grown and changed so much over the years. Why would I hang on to things that no longer suit or serve me? As the author of these books says, while tidying you are being confronted with who you are. Cleaning is confronting nature, tidying is confronting yourself. The clutter in my life is caused by me. It’s my choice to keep or part with what I don’t need. Needs and wants. Needs and wants. Does it spark joy? If not let it go and set it free.

(Yes, I’ve been awake all night. I get pretty introspective after listening to audiobooks and reflecting on my life and who I am – I loves me some nightshift mode)

Right now I am breaking free of the habit of accumulation. If you don’t love it, or use it, it’s clutter. If you hold that shirt, or dress, or item against your chest and hug it, does it spark joy? Allow your intuition to guide you as to what you really want. As I’ve said, over the last two decades especially, I’ve accumulated so many things. However, most of what I own does not spark joy. I can just let go of the things that no longer serve me with my current mentality as the person I’ve grown into. I’ve changed a lot over the years, especially over the last four years. I don’t need to hang on to things from a previous life or phase that I am no longer in. Right now is about revamping my lifestyle in every sense to help me become my best self to live the life I’ve always wanted. I’m in control of that. This is pretty fun actually. This will absolutely without a doubt change my life. I highly recommend this book. Listen to her first book first!

I will say no more. Listen to these books in order to learn the right way to tidy and organize your life. It will truly set youfree.